Friday, May 16, 2008
Rose Among The Thorns
Moola makes the world go round
Sometimes things happen so unexpectedly that I barely had time to bask in my short-lived moment of glory. My toastmasters' experience took a surprise twist of its own : I won the best speaker award, rather unceremoniously. I was not tapping my foot or holding my breath or ,to be frank, I was the least interested to know who won the awards.
Well, after so many snubs during the past sessions, I stopped habouring far-fetched thoughts about winning any title in the club. I have grown numb to attempting to compete with others so it mainly a let’s go and talk and relax session. Then, the moment came rather abruptly – Kenneth – and I was in the midst of scribbling the night’s event on my notebook. Before I realized what unfolded, all eyes were fixated on me and people started clapping – everything was so surreal and in slow motion. No wonder some stars have to double-confirm with their two-faced nominees if their name was really read out. It was quite out-of-a-body experience for that few short seconds. My rare moment of triumph. That better go down in my book of memories.
Needless to say, I gave a speech about, what else?, food! Food Glorious Food. More specifically, it was a small insight on how to “review” the food that you put in your mouth. The project’s focus was on incorporating visual aids in my speech and I was armed with some glossy food magazines ( given free of charge, at the World Gourmet Summit) and a real ,life-size curry puff. My main worry was how to sound and look natural on stage?
Thanks to the rote-learning mentality, which is deeply rooted in my 12 years of schooling, I have the tendency to memorize the entire script , word-for-word. If my mind was capable of absorbing hair-pulling organic chemistry formulae, a two-page script is a walk in the park. And boy, I am so good at memorizing that I can parrot the script down to every point. What is the point of memorizing the script when I need to present it. People want to be spoken to and not listen to a script-reading session. Put me in front of a ( mostly jaded) audience and my perfectly memorized script would evaporate into the air as fast as my racing heartbeat rate.
My worst fears came through at the previous chapter meeting. I rote-learnt the speech by heart, rehearsed to myself numerously in the privacy of my office’s toilet, paced up and down like a mumbling idiot. I thought I was well-prepared to give my speech, after so many practices, I should at least be safe. How wrong was I. The moment I saw those faces staring in front of me, my mind simply went blank – I have forgotten half of my rehearsed-to-death speech. At one point, I was simply dumbfounded. Total. Awkward. Silence. for 7 seconds and trust me, it seemed like eternity on stage. The show must go on, so I started babbling about random things that flashed through my mind. So after periods of walking in a chorine-smelling toilet, talking to myself, I ended up using half of my speech and rattled on like a train, void of emotions or thoughts. My mind just wanted to wrap things up fast.
The odds on me were even higher this time round. I only had a week to present the speech proper. After procrastinating over the weekend, I literally had to force my hands to start a mind-map for the script and things flowed naturally from then. It is all in the first step.. For my winning speech, I decided to start off with a slower tempo like a regal queen which actually gave me time to peep into my cue card.
Chubbi-licous
For once, I felt I could understand the words that sprout out from my mouth, instead of mindlessly recalling it and risk forgetting the entire chunk the moment I got distracted. The audience looked rather interested. Maybe when you are discussing about food to a roomful of people who had not have dinner, their eyes (and salivary glands) perk up instantly. When I got to explaining the picture, i started to feel more calm and secure. Things started falling in place so naturally that I even managed to crack a few food craving jokes. For once, I understood what I was presenting. That was my first brush was experience the adrenaline rush behind public speaking. It is so not about just memorizing the script and vomiting it out to the audience.
I must thank Tommy and iki ma boi for calling me prior to the speech and giving me the assurance that I can do it. In fact, tommy helped to craft up ideas for it and saddiqi polished them up and condensed it to food reviewing. i must learn to stop cringing whenever I see myself on the video recording. The weirdo in me just cannot take in the sight of my reflection that I have to squint my eye to watch if, as if I am watching soft porn movie. I am just not used to see my reflection. I want to see how dripped in passion I was when I talked about food. So this means Project 8 is stamped and done. 2 more projects to go…….
On the sidelines, I had a mildly busy week. Most of the days were spent re-writing drafts for my toastmasters speech..in the office, at home. Whenever a new phrase or idea hit me, it would be hello new version of script. I think I went through 4 versions of drafts, before settling in.
There are still no food reviews in sight but I will be doing my first ever “ Hotel- room” review!!! Yup! I will be bouncing to see how springy their mattresses are, testing their room service by being a bitch who calls for breakfast at 4am and checking they refill the shampoo and soap ( if I “tar-pau” them home).. Just kidding, I will just be a satisfied being who is only too happy to soak myself in the bath tub. It has been years since I had a luxurious bubble bath. This time I want to spend at last 1 hour soaking and playing with bubbles. Rose pedals and aromatic candles, please. My fingers are crossed.
Make-shift Kbox session was fun with Joel on Tuesday. I think it was even better that the real McCoy – it was totally free of charge and in the comfort of his cozy room. It was tiring – in a feel-good way to sing to our hearts’ content, with legs comfortably stretched. Music gets the best of us. Hiya, we should have sung Bleeding Love too. His cats are all grown-up now. It was hard to imagine that they could fit into the size of my palm in February and how they are as long as my arm’s length. One of them has such beautiful, soulful, round , curious eyes which are so mesmerizing to look into. I simply look to stoke them vigorously while saying “ Dor-rai-mon”. Pity that they are growing up to be skinny cats - just like their owner.
Since I do not foresee much external commitment in May, I have decided to learn a new software. Yes, I was prejudiced against it because I felt I was forced into. Much as I hate to concede defeat, I am starting to feel that this can be a skill that I can keep in my pocket. My aim is know the basics well and churn some thing decent out. I realized that I cannot depend on external parties ( read : voluntary organizations) to keep me busy as I am only a product to them – productive when needed. When they need me, they will call me. So what happens when they don’t? My life will not stop without them. I need to carry out my plans of my own too….but a part of me still yearns for more stuff to roll in…….
Thought of the Week :
We might move out of the family home to attend university, and ponder about marriage at about 40. After finding our perfect mate (online) at about the mid 40 mark, we are heartbroken to learn that a scientist has to help us reproduce. “Honey, we are too old to have kids!” Suddenly we realize, “How did that happen?” We are so young…….
Labels: friends, personal, toastmasters
by greenbearwithit at 10:04 PM |
If KENNETH was a magazine, it will be all about
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